A Brown Beauty [100-Words] NYC Midnight Round 1: 100-Word Micro-fiction Challenge 2021 Parameters: Genre: Historical Fiction ~ Action: Bidding on an item at an auction ~ Word: Strong I’d been called an ugly nag and his was the only bid, so when the auctioneer cried, "Sold," waves of laughter rippled through the crowd. I flinched when he patted my rump. Then again, as he shouted to be heard over the terrified screams of horses being poked and prodded, "She's no beaut; but she's spirited and of strong hindquarter." Money changed hands and he smiled broadly as he caressed my neck, then proudly led me away. I settled in quickly, nickering and nuzzling sugar cubes from children's fingers—my new name: Brown Beauty. Unremarkable—until that fated midnight ride. *** NYCMidnight presents its 100-word Micro-fiction Challenge 2021 Round-1: 6,932 entries divided into 110 groups Each group is assigned a Genre, Action and Word Top-fifteen from each group will move on to Round-2 Group-33: Historical Fiction - Bidding on an item at an auction - Strong *** Judges' Feedback: Dear Lisa H. Owens, The feedback from the judges on your 1st round submission from the 100-word Microfiction Challenge 2021 is below. You should be proud of rising to the challenge and we hope you find the feedback helpful. Because you placed in the top 15 of your group, you have advanced to the 2nd Round kicking off at 11:59PM EDT (New York time) on Friday, July 23rd. Congratulations and best of luck in the 2nd Round! ''A Brown Beauty'' by Lisa H. Owens - WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - {2059} I absolutely loved how you worked in the historical element (the reveal of 'Brown Beauty' at the end). The way you make this horse *feel* like a real, human character is also quite remarkable and very effective. {2022} Telling a famous story from the perspective of a horse was a great and memorable take on historical fiction. I'm glad you didn't try to make it into a gimmick–you bring a lot of empathy to the character. {1651} I thought it was effective how you told the story from the POV of the horse. She has a specific, colorful personality that we're drawn to, and it makes us want to read more. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - {2059} As mentioned, I loved the reveal of 'Brown Beauty' at the end, but I do think you might consider changing the title (as it ruins the surprise in the story a bit). In terms of efficiency, I did think the lines that start 'Then again...' and 'Money changed hands' could be combined. You might find that freeing up words there allows for you to dive even more into Brown Beauty's thoughts/emotional state. {2022} Not everyone may be familiar with the story of Paul Revere and his Brown Beauty (which you can't necessarily control.) However, I don't think it would hurt for you to include his name somewhere in the story. I recommend "until Revere's fated midnight ride. {1651} I'd consider giving us another strong hint in the story that this is about Paul Revere. It feels like we need a bit more. You could do this by either by filling in another detail about the man who buys the horse or detail about what's going on in the world. *Update: Brown Beauty was awarded 9th place (of 63 submissions in Group-33) and I will move to Round-2. Read my Round-2 submission: Back to the Drawing Board.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
[Actual Partial "Contest Finals" PDF]Archives
June 2023
|
Copyright © 2023, Lisa H. Owens and Lisahowens.com
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author/owner is strictly prohibited. Website Built by I Am Mad Art and Autumn Year Round. |
Proudly powered by Weebly