![]() NYC Midnight Round-two / Group-one Genre: horror Action: an egg hatching Word: *confuse Story disqualified for misuse of assigned word. confusing / *confuse *** Bob sipped cheap tequila and worked through a pack of Marlboros. He ashed out the window and the last cigarette slipped between his fingers, bouncing embers mocking him. “Fuggit,” he mumbled and cranked the tunes. He studied the confusing patch of road, illuminated by one dingy headlight, and tipped the bottle. His mouth flooded with warmth and something round and spongy. It rolled along his tongue and before he could spit it out, it pulsated and ruptured. Writhing sticky legs scampered down his throat and he accelerated into a tree as clusters of spiderlings poured from his mouth and nose. *** NYCMidnight presents its 100-word Microfiction Challenge 2022 Round-2: 1,770 entries moved on from Round-1 Each group is assigned a Genre, Action and Word Top-ten from each group will move on to Round-3 Group-1: Horror - an egg hatching - confuse Read Round-1 14th place entry, How to Escape a Monster. *** Feedback WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY: {2035} This one had me pursing my lips, it evoked such a bodily reaction in me. I think that what worked so well was the "round and spongy" description coming just before the swiftness of the end. Using longer, more complex sentences in that final paragraph worked particularly well to usher in a fast pace. {1666} Awesome characterization here, from drinking and driving, to Marlboros, to mumbling "Fuggit," Bob emerged with a delightful level of clarity through your choice images and details. {1970} I really like the whole mood, feeling, atmosphere, the scene, the setup, and the horror of "When the Worm in the Mezcal Ain't a Worm". I think that Bob's character has a tremendous amount of personality shoe-horned into this story using very few words. Fantastic tale. Thanks. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK: {2035} To me, it wasn't entirely clear he was driving from the get-go, and I actually had to go back and start again once I realized that. I think that tweaking the detail about the window to incorporate the car a little could establish the setting from right out the gate. {1666} There were just a couple moments of clunky phrasing that made the back end feel less carefully composed than the opening half of the narrative. The punctuation-free repetition in "warmth and something round and spongy" felt murky to me, for instance. Additionally, "it" is repeated three times in the penultimate sentence, and repetition, even in simple pronouns, tends to stick out with such a tight word count restriction. One more small note - I'm not convinced there's mileage in the patch of road being "confusing" - as the real thrust of the narrative is "Man swallows spiders and crashes car" - while there's no deduction for it, the prompt felt a bit wedged in to my eye. {1970} I love this story. So, what one thing disappointed this one reader? Argh. More spiders. It's always...spiders. The creepy crawlers in a horror story is most always...spiders. OK, I get it...egg. Spiders have egg sacks and you had to have an egg hatch in this story. But, you are a fantabulous writer...why not something more original than, spiders. Still, after all this ranting, it really says more about my patience than your writing...it's a wonderful, well written and exemplary tale. Thanks. ADDITIONAL NOTES FROM NYC MIDNIGHT: This story was disqualified for not including the assigned word (confuse) exactly as it was assigned.
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![]() Globe-Soup Best Original First Sentence Challenge: There are ten types of opening sentences. Write the first sentence of a story using the genre provided. *** *Finalist: Introduce character(s): fantasy -submitted Mr. Crunk, the inventor of The-Thing-You-Did-Not-Know-You-Needed, was a gangly man, who could often be found lounging on a cloud deep in thought. A statement of principle or philosophy: sci-fi - submitted The Bloblogons were not savages, only feasting on the flesh of humanoids who had fallen in battle, eating them one limb at a time, thus extending their life-force, and only partaking on Doomstar Eve. Introduce a unique voice as protagonist: western - submitted Bein' a rodeo clown ain't all it's cracked up to be, unless you like pullin' endless red hankies outta yer pocket while bein' chased by a pissed-off bull. Set the scene: horror - submitted The moon was full and the snow deep, casting the bloodied footprints leading from the cabin in a warm glow. Begin by telling the reader what the story's about: magical realism - submitted 1. Be warned—dear reader—that if you have a fear of flying, everything in this tale flies: flying dragons, flying toads, flying flies, a middle-aged man with butterfly wings who flies a defunct WWII Gloster Gladiator and last but not least, time, but only when you're having fun. 2. Finding a translucent hatchling dragon chuffing beneath her bed, was the first in an unusual series of events that would change the life of Willowbrook Bunglesbee, a reclusive spinster. Dramatic Action: historical fiction - submitted "Never bring a musket to a cannon fight, you Dixie-whistling, goober-pea-eating grayback," cried the boy in rags of bloodied blue; but by the time he rammed the powder and shell to the back of the tube, a Minié ball ripped through his back and the cannoneer lit the fuse. Intriguing line of dialogue: thriller - submitted "If you've never watched a putz with a belly wound die, it's a thing of beauty–the slash, the unfurling of the intestines, the shock in the poor sap's eyes the instant he realizes he's dead," the Butcher licked his lips and continued to sharpen the blade. A startling proclamation: dystopian -submitted The crazy old man had always carried a sign that read, The World Will End Tomorrow, which was ironic, because it ended yesterday. Retrospection: paranormal - submitted Mom always wanted me to be a ballerina; but I am dead and ballet is stupid. Intrigue or mystery: crime The first one to enter the house was a young EMT, who abruptly tossed his cookies, then called an Uber. Lisa H. Owens Created for a Globe Soup First Sentence Challenge A finalist in: Introduce Character / Fantasy genre June, 2022 ![]() NYC Midnight Round-1: 100-Word Micro-fiction Challenge 2022 Genre: Action and/or Adventure Action: stealing a pair of shoes Word: boil *** She crept out before dawn, slipping her narrow feet into the monster’s loafers. Then she ran. The lopsided shoe-flapping gait of an escapee running in someone else’s shoes. She tripped over exposed roots and plowed through thorny underbrush, willing herself not to look back. Blood boiled up from deep gashes, cascading down her legs, soaking into worn umber leather. She pumped her arms, gaining speed. Then launched herself upwards to arise and soar like an eagle—the wretched shack and discarded loafers left behind—shrinking until they were engulfed by trees. Too late, a door slammed, and the monster roared his defeat. *** NYCMidnight presents its 100-word Micro-fiction Challenge 2022 Round-1: 6,973 entries divided into 118 groups Each group is assigned a Genre, Action and Word Top-fifteen from each group will move on to Round-2 (1,770 total move on) Group-75: Action/Adventure - Stealing a pair of shoes - Boil Read Round-2 entry, When the Worm in the Mezcal Ain't a Worm. *** Judges' Feedback: Dear Lisa H. Owens, The feedback from the judges on your 1st round submission from the 100-word Microfiction Challenge 2022 is below. You should be proud of rising to the challenge and we hope you find the feedback helpful. Because you placed in the top 15 of your group, you have advanced to the 2nd Round kicking off at 11:59PM EDT (New York time) on Friday, June 18, 2022. Congratulations and best of luck in the 2nd Round! WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY: {2086} The gripping pace and momentum of this story spring off the page with life and urgency. Similarly, the stakes are both obvious and riveting. {2059} I really loved how you managed to keep tension high throughout this story. The description of the action/the girl's escape is excellent and helped me stay in the moment with her. I also loved the how the shoes were heavily featured (and how she leaves them behind as well at the end of the story). {2035} I liked the violence of her escape. The word choices you used when talking about the blood and thorns, I thought, highlighted her struggle well and showed us how even this much pain was better than spending another day trapped with the monster. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK: {2086} It might be interesting to consider whether there are ways of touching upon who the central protagonist is as a person. Understanding just a little more deeply the context and perspective that she represents could bring all the more emotional connection to this nevertheless action-packed, engaging piece. {2059} I wasn't quite sure that the last line ("Too late, a door slammed, and the monster roared his defeat") felt essential to me. The story is so focused on the girl that it didn't feel necessary to revisit the monster. I'd encourage you to interrogate this ending just a bit more. What does it leave the reader with? What is gained and lost by moving away from the girl? {2035} Although I like the power of the image of flight, I wasn't sure why the protagonist didn't fly and escape from the get-go. I think that highlighting some rationale for the protagonist's inability to fly until that moment could show us why taking the shoes was a necessary aspect of her escape, adding a layer of inevitability to each action. |
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