["Finalist!" by lisa]
["Finalist!" by lisa]
 NYC Midnight Round-2: 100-Word Micro-fiction Contest 2021 Genre: Sci-fi Action: Grilling Meat Word: Above *** Trainee-Units lined Preparatory Stations. Replicant CF-ANNE, sporting a white hair swoosh, descended from above. Class launched — knives collectively extending — when she sing-songed, “Welcome to Food-Intro-101. “Mise en place...before we cook. Rehydrate VG-compounds and unseal BeFe-pods. “Activate Sere-Mode. Dump your BeFe onto your Hafnium-Hibachis. HEAR THE SIZZLE! BROWN FOOD TASTES GOOD! “Now we dice. CONSISTENT CUBES!” Trainees spasmodically mimicked. “NO-NO-NO! THE MOTION OF THE OCEAN!” she maniacally demonstrated, rocking the knife, just so. “STRONG KNIFE SKILLS.” She was relentless. Knife-wielding trainees—gone haywire–spiraled. “IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE HEAT…” engineers intervened. Sliced and Diced ANNE-BURR-L #9 units littered Quad-KCH-N #3. By Lisa H. Owens 7/24/2021 NYCMidnight presents its 100-word Micro-fiction Challenge 2021 Round-2: 1,650 entries divided into groups Each group is assigned a Genre, Action and Word Group-1: Sci-fi - Grilling Meat - Above Story did not make it into the top 8 for Group-1. Read my Round-1 (9th place) entry: A Brown Beauty *** Judges' Feedback: Dear Lisa H. Owens, The feedback from the judges on your 2nd Round submission from the 100-word Microfiction Challenge 2021 is below. You should be proud of making it to the 2nd Round from an original field of nearly 7,000 writers and rising to both challenges along the way. Thank you for participating, stay safe, and we hope to see you in a future competition! ''Back to the Drawing Board'' by Lisa H. Owens - WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - {2114} A chef robot was a really fun premise for your story. Her dialogue (those clichés TV chefs love to spit out) was well-written and had a keen sense of humor. {1866} This was a creative setting and story. The author did a great job creatively naming all of the robots and imagining the language they would use. It felt like a realistic sci-fi setting. There was a good mix of dialogue and storytelling which lead to an overall pleasant to read experience. {1970} I like the visuals that came to mind as I read "Back to the Drawing Board". I pictured a test kitchen so severe it's downright clinical. Knives, like surgical instruments...indeed a really good chef's knife is razor sharp, like a scalpel. I could hear Anne's voice....'NO-NO-NO!' You did a great job of putting my feet to the fire right along with the Trainee-Units. Thanks. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - {2114} Your story didn't have a protagonist to latch on to. No emotional arc. There are a couple of ways to solve this. You could give CF-ANNE thoughts and feelings, frustration at the humans who can't keep up. You could also introduce another character. Perhaps a trainee trying to learn from this robot chef? {1866} The robotic language and labels were almost too dominating for such a short piece. It was at times hard to read and understand what was happening. It also felt somewhat random for the trainees to go haywire when they did. A little more plot development could have improved the piece. {1970} There is so much a like about this story. What could use work? I have to say that I am familiar with Anne Burrell, her shows, etc. And even I did not pick up on the connection my first time reading this tale. I think that's because I was so focused on trying to decipher everything else about this story. It is clever, but I fear that between readers who are not familiar with Chef Burrell, or cooking for that matter, and the very enigmatic style of the narrative, you may lose some readers. Thanks again for the very different tale. ***
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