["Finalist!" by lisa]
["Finalist!" by lisa]
 NYC Midnight Round-1: 100-Word Micro-fiction Challenge 2022 Genre: Action and/or Adventure Action: stealing a pair of shoes Word: boil *** She crept out before dawn, slipping her narrow feet into the monster’s loafers. Then she ran. The lopsided shoe-flapping gait of an escapee running in someone else’s shoes. She tripped over exposed roots and plowed through thorny underbrush, willing herself not to look back. Blood boiled up from deep gashes, cascading down her legs, soaking into worn umber leather. She pumped her arms, gaining speed. Then launched herself upwards to arise and soar like an eagle—the wretched shack and discarded loafers left behind—shrinking until they were engulfed by trees. Too late, a door slammed, and the monster roared his defeat. *** NYCMidnight presents its 100-word Micro-fiction Challenge 2022 Round-1: 6,973 entries divided into 118 groups Each group is assigned a Genre, Action and Word Top-fifteen from each group will move on to Round-2 (1,770 total move on) Group-75: Action/Adventure - Stealing a pair of shoes - Boil Read Round-2 entry, When the Worm in the Mezcal Ain't a Worm. *** Judges' Feedback: Dear Lisa H. Owens, The feedback from the judges on your 1st round submission from the 100-word Microfiction Challenge 2022 is below. You should be proud of rising to the challenge and we hope you find the feedback helpful. Because you placed in the top 15 of your group, you have advanced to the 2nd Round kicking off at 11:59PM EDT (New York time) on Friday, June 18, 2022. Congratulations and best of luck in the 2nd Round! WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY: {2086} The gripping pace and momentum of this story spring off the page with life and urgency. Similarly, the stakes are both obvious and riveting. {2059} I really loved how you managed to keep tension high throughout this story. The description of the action/the girl's escape is excellent and helped me stay in the moment with her. I also loved the how the shoes were heavily featured (and how she leaves them behind as well at the end of the story). {2035} I liked the violence of her escape. The word choices you used when talking about the blood and thorns, I thought, highlighted her struggle well and showed us how even this much pain was better than spending another day trapped with the monster. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK: {2086} It might be interesting to consider whether there are ways of touching upon who the central protagonist is as a person. Understanding just a little more deeply the context and perspective that she represents could bring all the more emotional connection to this nevertheless action-packed, engaging piece. {2059} I wasn't quite sure that the last line ("Too late, a door slammed, and the monster roared his defeat") felt essential to me. The story is so focused on the girl that it didn't feel necessary to revisit the monster. I'd encourage you to interrogate this ending just a bit more. What does it leave the reader with? What is gained and lost by moving away from the girl? {2035} Although I like the power of the image of flight, I wasn't sure why the protagonist didn't fly and escape from the get-go. I think that highlighting some rationale for the protagonist's inability to fly until that moment could show us why taking the shoes was a necessary aspect of her escape, adding a layer of inevitability to each action.
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