Hell Freezes Over

[Reddit Simple Writing Prompt] Hell Actually Freezes Over

Hell actually freezes over and I found myself doing the things I said I would only do when Hell freezes over:

• I ate broccoli.
• I kissed my brother's sweaty gym sock.
• I stayed up half the night making a mix tape of my favorite seduction songs for my girlfriend.
• I wore my girl's skinny jeans to the club.
• I read The Notebook.
• I watched the remake of the movie Red Dawn.
• I got a Justin Bieber Swoosh Hairstyle.
• I ordered a frozen Cosmopolitan at my local hangout.
• I got a cat and a turtle.
• I bought a Smart Car.
• I became a vegan.
• I carpooled to work.
• I bought a shirt from The Gap.
• I played Pictionary with friends.
• I danced The Macarena at a wedding.
• I went to a Jonas Brothers concert.
• I sang the Eddie Murphy song Party All the Time on Karaoke night.
• I started keeping a diary.
• I wore matching shirts with my Grandma for a "Sears and Roebuck Holiday Photo".
• I grew a handlebar mustache.
• I went to brunch.
• I took a pottery class.
• I quit my six figure income job to backpack through Europe.

...and now I just want to kill myself.  I'll do that when Hell freezes over...

By Lisa H. Owens
Inspired by a Reddit writing prompt ​

---