Let This be a Lesson

"That dude looks rufff," Baxter whispered. "He's dreadfully pale. Do you think he's dead?"

"Grrrr, could be. His arms are stick thin. Look at his stone-cold grin. Do ya think he works for Bugs?" Dingo delicately scratched his ear then shook his entire body.

"Ghost walk over your grave, Dingo?"

"I dunno, Baxter. Dude just gives me the chills. He's been standing there for hours. I don't think he's so much as twitched. What diya think he's looking at?" 

"Beats me. Why is he naked? I bet he's freezing his balls off. Why even bother wearing the hat and scarf? That's just yapping weird," Dingo panted as he worked the ear.

"What? Cha got mites or somethin' in the ear?" Baxter snapped at the air then panted. "It's starting to heat up."

"You think he's carrying? Grrr, I dunno where he'd stash his piece. Maybe under the hat," growled Dingo then yipped, "Did he just move?"

The duo watched the naked man slump a little. His hat shifting down over one fixated eye and one stick thin arm dropping down, nearly resting on the ground.

"Look at his paws, Bax. He's missing a finger or two. Definitely the work of Bugs. Ya think he's a narc?"

"Could be. I think I seen his brother here last winter. Same thing. Hat and scarf but his brother had a ugly sweater on. I think it had a picture of yer muther on the front, ya old dawg" Baxter howled at his joke, then spun and snapped at nothing. "Every get that feelin' somethin's behind ya?" then he plopped down on the slushy snow.

Dingo sniffed the air and plopped down next to Baxter, "All the time, Bax. All the time. My muther's a class bitch. She wouldn't be caught dead on a cheap sweater," the pair squared off, snapping at each other like a couple of crocodiles.

They simultaneously jumped and backed up a few paces when the man suddenly lurched forward, landing face first in the slush.

"Yep. Dead as a doornail. Same thing happened with the bruther. Just dropped dead then melted. Bugs musta slipped some special meltin'-poison into his kibble. Good way to dispose of a body, if ya ask me, Bax."

"I didn't ask ya, Ding."

Baxter, the braver of the two crept up and bent to sniff at the dead man's hat which immediately toppled off of his melting misshapen head, which immediately rolled off his slowly disintegrating mid section, which in turn detached from his hefty bottom. Three naked severed body parts, one hat and one scarf spread generously across patchy ground. 

"Gee, Bax. He don't look so scary now. Hey goon, take this," growled Dingo as he lifted one leg to mark a spot on the back of the man's head.

Baxter couldn't help himself. He sniffed the yellowing head, "Let this be a lesson. Ya don't mess with us. Tell ya friends," and lifted his leg taking his turn. 

"SQUIRREL," they both barked and plowing straight over the dead man's severed body, they skedaddled. 

Lisa H. Owens
Just for Fun
December, 2021

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